


A Change in Miko

by TMNT_Raph_fan



Series: Transformers Prime: Allspark [5]
Category: Transformers: Prime
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Mental Anguish, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:33:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25838098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TMNT_Raph_fan/pseuds/TMNT_Raph_fan
Summary: While learning how to be an Autobot, Miko realizes that her expectations were much larger than the reality. She soon falls into a depressed state and it will take all her friends to help her through it.
Series: Transformers Prime: Allspark [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/220841
Kudos: 14





	1. Part 1

The Autobots couldn’t believe what they were hearing. The children, Ratchet explained, had located the Ancient Autobot base, the same base the Autobots were having difficulty finding, and somehow Raf and Miko had come back Cybertronian like Jack. Upon hearing of Miko’s involvement, Bulkhead’s shoulders sank in disappointment, groaning as he rubbed his helm with his palm. Arcee stood impassively with arms crossed and an unimpressed glare occupying her face-plate. If she too was surprised, she didn’t show it. Bumblebee grew eager with anticipation to meet Raf in his new form, unable to keep his door wings from twitching excitedly.  
  
“Where are the children now?” Optimus Prime asked Ratchet. He held his usual stoic demeanor, but there was no mistaking the concern in his tone.  
  
“They’re in Jack’s room,” the medic answered. “We’ll have to prepare rooms for the other two, now that they’ll all be living here.” The amount of displeasure displayed in the older bot’s tone and posture would have been difficult for even the most highly accomplished actor to hide. In his mind the base was already overcrowded, but deep down he knew there was no other choice. This was just another factor that the Autobots would have to learn to deal with.  
  
“That’s the least of our worries.” Arcee mumbled grumpily. “Priority number one is telling Fowler so he can inform the families, which will be even more complicated this time around since Raf and Miko’s parents don’t know about Cybertronians at all.” The room grew silent as Arcee’s words lingered on everyone’s minds.  
  
“Miko has foster parents,” Bulkhead broke the silence, removing his hand from his face. “Her real parents are in Tokyo.”  
  
“Yes, that very well may complicate things further,” Optimus added. “But for now, let’s start with the obvious: contacting Agent Fowler.”

...

A soft, constant tapping of metal bumping metal was the only sound occupying Jack’s room. Miko, who had grown bored with her confinement the moment it started, was seated on the ground against the door, feet flat on the floor and forearms resting on raised knees. She had been softly tapping the back of her head against the door for what seemed like ages. Jack and Raf were situated on the bed; Jack leaning against the wall with legs hanging over the side, and Raf simply cross-legged. They had both become irritated by Miko’s tapping, but neither had the courage to speak up against her at present. They simply watched her with lazy glares hoping that she would catch a glimpse of them and take the hint. Then, abruptly, the tapping stopped.  
  
“Aaaauuggh!” Miko let out an obnoxious groan as her limbs collectively flopped to the floor. “This is so boooriiing! I became an Autobot to get more action, not to get grounded.” She crossed her arms in indignation and continued to pout.  
  
“What were you expecting when we came back, Miko?” Jack piped up, his irritation slight as he was decent at concealing it. “We snuck out, went on an hours-long road trip, blocked communications for the entire time, and returned with the two of you transferred into Cybertronian bodies. One of which, I might add, wasn’t necessary.” He strained the last word while making hard eye contact with Miko. She glared back, silently challenging him even though she knew she had no rebuttal. The room grew silent before Miko resumed tapping her head against the door. Jack and Raf let out defeated sighs, dropping their heads in response.  
  
Suddenly the door to Jack’s room was opened and Miko fell backwards into the hallway with a start. She looked up to see Arcee standing above her. A moment of surprise flashed across Arcee’s face, but it was soon covered up by displeased annoyance.  
  
“Come on, you three.” She spoke flatly. “Agent Fowler is here to assess the situation.”

...

At first, Fowler had been eerily silent, but that silence was short lived. Soon he was howling louder than ever before--that the bot’s had ever seen, anyway. Once he was finished scolding, he began a verbal rampage about the efforts needed to sort out the mess. Raf and Miko had already been away from their families and guardians for hours, which left the Government Agent with a very strict deadline for thinking up a viable plan. Not to mention telling Miko’s temporary guardians was out of the question. But Fowler had managed, by the skin of his teeth, to inform the families of Raf and Miko without incident, having given Miko’s foster parents a simple cover story that she had returned to school in Tokyo. He had even arranged for the children to visit their families the following day. Raf’s family handled it quite well, considering the immense shock of the situation. Miko’s parents, however, seemed quite uncomfortable with it all, as evident by their stiff forms and quiet demeanors. The bots were shocked at how well behaved Miko had been in her parents’ presence, but that didn’t keep them from noticing the concern she had about the way her parents were acting.  
  
Since that day, Raf’s family had come to visit him often, ensuring he was adapting well to his new form and all that came with it. He hadn’t yet attempted to gain a vehicle form or transform his limbs into weapons. Instead he decided to spend the week learning from Ratchet about how his new form functioned.  
  
Miko, on the other hand, hadn’t had a visit from her parents since the meeting with Fowler, so she occupied herself with what she referred to as “catching up to Jack”. The day after her parents’ visit, she begged Bulkhead to take her off base in search of a vehicle mode. After getting permission from Optimus, Bulkhead obliged and took her to the roadside that led in and out of Jasper. They spent hours waiting for the perfect vehicle, and when Miko finally made her choice—a fully loaded 2015 Jeep Wrangler with a purple and magenta custom paint job—she scanned it on her first try, immediately bragging about it to Bulkhead. Before he could suggest giving transforming a try, Miko was already shifting back and forth from her bipedal and vehicle modes at a rate that would make any other bot nauseated.  
  
Miko continued to progress quickly throughout the week, earning many praises from everyone, and by the end of the week she had caught up with Jack.  
  
“Is that the best you can do?” Miko taunted as she and Jack sparred in one of the training rooms. She had him pinned to the ground, hugging his arms in a chest-lock from behind, practically sitting on him to keep him in place.  
  
“You know it is.” Jack huffed out his response and a breathy laugh followed. He truly enjoyed Miko’s excitement when they sparred, and once she had him pinned the little pain that came next would stop promptly as she eased up on him.  
  
“Then tap out!” she jokingly demanded. Jack chuckled as he smacked the floor a few times. Miko released her friend and then helped him to his feet. “You really gotta practice with Arcee more,” she teased.  
  
“I’m good at my current rate, Miko.” Jack told her. “Besides, this is more your thing.”  
  
“You know it is!” Miko cheered, pumping her fists up and down as the duo walked out of the back room and began to head to the main sector where the rest of the group was. “I’ve been living my life to the fullest!”  
  
“Based on how well you took to becoming an Autobot, I’d say you were meant to be one.” Jack stated.  
  
“Aw, is that jealousy I sense?” Miko said cheekily. She placed her finger on her chin and gave Jack a mischievous grin, one he had seen on her far too many times. Jack laughed as he shook his head at his friend’s impish antics.  
  
“No,” he finally answered her. “Like I said, this is your thing, not mine. I’m glad that you progressed so fast.”  
  
They made it to the entrance of the main sector and first came across Ratchet and Raf, who were both standing by the console of monitors.  
  
“Hey, Ratch!” Miko greeted loudly. She slid into the medic’s space and leaned on the keyboard. “Any news from my folks?” She smiled wide, optimistically hoping that they had called the number Fowler gave them that linked to the Autobots’ base communications.  
  
Ratchet turned to her, annoyed at first by the breach of his personal space, but then his expression dropped into pity.  
  
“I’m afraid not, Miko,” he informed her.  
  
He didn’t turn away from her right away as he usually would when she interrupted his work. Her smile fell and she turned her back to him, hurting that she hadn’t heard from her parents since the beginning of the week. She’d never say, but she worried that her parents were too freaked out by her sudden change, fearing that they wouldn’t want to see her again. She had to keep a brave face, though. For who was Miko if not upbeat and un-phased?  
  
She turned and raised her head again to look at Ratchet once more, a false smile spread across her face. It was smaller than a moment ago, but enough to hide her real pain.  
  
“That’s fine. They’re probably busy.” She said, her voice strained as she spoke the lie. “They were like this before I became an Autobot.” She waved her hand to dismiss the disappointment and quickly shuffled away after Jack. Ratchet just stared after her, the same look of pity on his face.  
  
“You’re worried too, huh?”  
  
Raf’s small voice caught Ratchet’s attention and he jerked his head toward the boy.  
  
"I, well,” Ratchet stammered with a huff. “I’m concerned about where Miko’s parents stand with this change. They seemed odd when they were here and I’m unsure how they will proceed. That’s all.” The medic turned back to the console, and he and Raf returned to their work.

...

The evening pressed on and eventually the children were back in their rooms preparing for recharge. Miko lay with her back against her berth, her body stick straight and arms crossed. Unlike Jack, she noticed the very evident difference between a human bed and the berth currently beneath her and did not like it. Every night since moving into her new room she tried different “sleeping” positions, hoping at least one would feel recognizable paired with the cold slab of steel she rested on, but none ever did.  
  
Staring up at the ceiling, she was at a loss. How could she be a natural at everything else but this? She sighed and closed her optics only to find her thoughts haunting her, especially those that told her the berth was not the only thing bothering her this night. She sat up and swung her legs over the side of the berth while slamming her back against the wall on the other side, keeping her eyes closed. Her parents had not spoken to her in a week. She had lied to Ratchet when she told him this was normal behavior for them. In truth, they always made sure to stay in contact a couple times a week, making their current silence deafening.  
  
_This is what you wanted_ , her thoughts tickled at the back of her head. _So why are you hurting? Don’t let the changes hurt. You’ll get used to it. It will get better. It’s what you wanted._  
  
She opened her eyes and stared forward blankly. Eventually her optics focused on her old guitar. She had placed it on the shelving unit in her room, unable to part with it even after it became impossible to use. She always played it when dealing with difficult emotions, using it as a conduit to express how she felt and let it out into the world. She wished she could play it now more than anything. Instead it just sat there, collecting dust and acting as an omen for changes to come.  
  
_It’s what you wanted._

...

The next morning, Miko didn’t feel like hiding her disappointment as well as she had been. She had to resort to recharging while in her vehicle mode in order to feel any type of comfort, and to simply get away from that stupid berth. But apparently recharging while in vehicle mode is like sleeping in an awkward position, and you wake up with an ache if you do either.  
  
She dragged herself down the hall toward the main sector, one arm hanging limp by her side and the other lazily clutching her shoulder. She paused in the threshold between the hall and the room everyone else occupied, taking a moment to gather herself and do at least a half-decent job of looking happy.  
  
Bulkhead was the first to spot her. “Hey, Mikooooo…” His tone went from excited to confused, with the last syllable of her name dragging out as he took in her appearance. “Uh, you feelin’ okay?”  
  
She straightened up and plastered a fake smile on her face. “I blame you for this,” she told him, trying her best to use the same playful tone as always with him as she walked forward. “You should ‘a warned me that sleeping in vehicle mode makes ya sore.” She swatted at his arm in jest, hoping her excuse would make a good cover.  
  
“Uh, sorry, Miko,” said Bulkhead, bashfully rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ve never really done that before. Why didn’t you use your berth?”  
  
She puffed out her cheeks, thinking quickly on her feet. “Too boring.” she reasoned with a shrug.  
  
“Then I guess tonight you’ll take boring over sore, won’t you?” Ratchet interjected.  
  
Both Miko and Bulkhead turned in his direction. Neither had realized he was listening. Miko crossed her arms and gave the medic a rather large shrug, one that reeked with annoyance. A sound of indifferent agreeance left her lips and she looked away from the two bots. Ratchet gave the young femme a look, then shifted his gaze to Bulkhead with a raised brow. With a silent wave of his hand the medic urged the wrecker to press further, knowing that Miko would rebuff Ratchet’s attempts long before she would Bulkhead’s.  
  
“Uuh,” Bulkhead began, thinking out his words carefully. “Are you having trouble--”  
  
“No!” Miko blurted. “I’m amazing at being an Autobot!”  
  
The two bots stared at her, suspicion clearly building within them, but both knew better than to ask any more questions.  
  
“Anyway, I wanted to see if you were interested in going to a concert tonight.” Bulkhead offered. He knew she craved missions more than Jack did and everyone in the base worried about her sneaking out, so Bulkhead formed the idea to take her into town so she wouldn’t get too stir crazy. “Slash Monkey is playing.” he announced with a knowing smile.  
  
Miko lit up, her night problems becoming a distant memory. “They are?!” she gushed, bringing her hands up to her face in delight, “I love them! We are absolutely going!”  
  
“We still have a few hours to wait. The concert isn’t ‘till tonight,” Bulkhead clarified. He smiled at his young partner, glad to see her looking better than when she first walked in. Her cheeks puffed a little, not liking the idea of waiting, but she quickly shrugged off her impatience and started jogging toward Jack and Raf.  
“Okay!” she called back to Bulkhead. “Call me when it’s time!”  
  
Raf and Jack were playing a Cybertronian game they recently learned and Miko decided the best way to kill time was to join them. She just needed to learn how to play. Ratchet and Bulkhead watched them for a moment, and their mouths couldn’t help but curl into smiles.

...

_It’s what you wanted. It’s what you wanted. What YOU wanted_ , Miko’s mind chanted.  
  
She returned from the concert with Bulkhead feeling deflated. As the show progressed, Miko became less and less excited. Being forced to watch the concert in vehicle mode near one of the side entrances was not as enthralling as she once thought it might be. She missed being able to stand in the crowd, to scream adorations at the band, to pump her fists and stomp her feet like every other human in the arena. Now she wasn’t even allowed to honk her horn to the beat of their songs because it would draw unwanted attention to them. It was a struggle just for her to keep still and quiet. She was going stir crazy inside her own head, and soon her thoughts began to suffocate her. At some point during the blaring of death metal anthems, she drowned inside the dark recesses of her mind.  
  
_This is what you wanted, what you dreamed for. You made it happen. Who cares about concerts? Soon you’ll have missions. You don’t need concerts. You don’t need guitars. You got what you asked for. You got what you wanted. This is what you wanted._  
  
She held her arms close to her body and casually strutted into the base. Her smile was large, but her calm and quiet disposition betrayed its sincerity. Bulkhead knew she was upset, but he had no idea how to ask, let alone how to help. She ignored everyone as they asked her how she enjoyed the concert. Instead she just smiled, keeping her gaze forward, and briskly walked to her room. Her room that was also not her room.

...

Morning arrived and Miko came out into the main sector of the base. She appeared a lot giddier than when she returned the night before, and in a sense, she was. She had actually succeeded in getting a good night’s “sleep” and had pushed yesterday’s disappointments to the back of her mind. Today was a new day, and she was going to seize it.  
  
“Mornin’, Ratch!” she bellowed enthusiastically as she burst into the space next to him.  
  
The medic nearly put his arm through the keyboard from shear surprise at the young femme’s sudden arrival. He jerked away from her, taking a moment to gather himself.  
  
“Where is everybody?” Miko asked. She swept her gaze around the room to discover she and Ratchet were the only ones present.  
  
“If I tell you, will you go bother them instead?” he half muttered under his breath. Miko simply replied with a mischievous grin that spread across the entirety of her face-plate. Ratchet’s unimpressed glare didn’t falter as he continued. “Optimus is at a meeting with Agent Fowler, Raf is with Bulkhead and Bumblebee in one of the training rooms, and Jack and Arcee have gone out.”  
  
“Jack went on his first mission and I MISSED IT!?” Miko exclaimed as her posture instantly straightened. She looked up at Ratchet with brokenhearted optics.  
  
“Of course not!” Ratchet quickly corrected. “They’re just out for a day drive. Jack prefers one every now and then so he doesn’t fall out of touch with his vehicle mode.”  
  
Miko paused as her expression relaxed. “Oh, good.” she sighed as the tension left her body and her hands began to fidget. She swayed on her feet playfully, brushing off her brief outburst as she moved around a bit awkwardly, refusing to keep still for any length of time. “I guess I’ll go see what the boys are up to.”  
  
She began to move away from the console as Ratchet hummed a half-hazard acknowledgment before returning to his work. Miko turned and headed toward the training rooms where she found Bulkhead and Bumblebee instructing Raf how to use his arm weapon, which happened to be a powerful but non-lethal blaster-like taser. Bumblebee beeped and buzzed instructions that Miko couldn’t understand while Bulkhead stood calmly to the side to supervise.  
  
“Okay, Bee. I think I got it.” said Raf confidently.  
  
Bumblebee gave him a double thumbs-up as one more chirp left his audio port, his optics gleaming with pride. Raf held his taser-arm steady with his free servo and braced himself to fire. The double prongs at the end of his limb lit up with energy and soft blue sparks began to build between them. He discharged his weapon, sending sharp arcs of electricity toward the target at the end of the room, charring the wall significantly. The sensation of blasting energy from his arm was a unique experience that Raf couldn’t make any comparisons to, and despite taking a single step back in reaction to said sensation, the recoil wasn’t as strong as he was expecting, and it certainly wasn’t anywhere near as strong as the recoil from a cannon.  
  
“Woo! Way to go, Raf!” Miko cheered and the ‘bots turned in her direction, noticing her for the first time.  
  
“Thanks, Miko.” said Raf, a nervous chuckle escaping his lips.  
  
“You missed the target, though.” she pointed out. “Did you have your eyes closed?”  
  
Everyone looked downrange to discover Miko spoke the truth; Raf missed the mark by a considerable distance. Bulkhead turned back to his young friend with a smile.  
  
“It’s not about target practice, Miko. Raf is just getting used to his weapon,” Bulkhead explained.  
  
“Seeing how hesitant you were, you could use a bit more getting used to it,” Miko teased. “Let’s see you do it again!” She brought her balled fists up to her chin in excitement and smiled wide.  
  
“Of course I’m going to fire again. We only just started.” Raf brought his taser back up and repositioned his stance for better aim. Once again, the taser lit up and discharged toward the target.

...

The air felt heavy with secrets when Miko re-entered the main sector followed by Raf, Bumblebee and Bulkhead. Whispers were being exchanged between Ratchet and Optimus, who had since returned from his meeting with Agent Fowler. They paused their hushed discussion when Miko entered, giving her pitied side glances. Miko looked at them in confusion, prompting the pair to turn away and return to their conversation. An awful feeling of dread began to rise from the pit of her stomach. Judging by that look, they must be talking about her, and it must be bad news. She remained frozen in place as a desperate range of emotions assaulted her mind.  
  
When Optimus looked her way again he quietly beckoned her over. She could feel everyone’s eyes on her. It was clear they had come to the same conclusion, and now she could practically feel the pity radiating from their stares.  
  
_This is what you wanted._  
  
For a moment, she couldn’t force herself to move. When she finally found the courage to approach the Autobot leader, he was alone. Ratchet had left to give them some privacy, shuffling the others out with him to prevent any chance of eavesdropping. Miko couldn’t decide if that made her feel more comfortable or even more worried for the coming conversation.  
  
She walked up to Optimus but couldn’t look him in the optics right away. Silence hung in the air; it seemed even Optimus was dreading the news he had to pass on.  
  
“Miko,” he began, finally finding his voice. “I have just spoken to Agent Fowler. He... received a message from your parents.” His words sounded like they were being dragged from his mouth, not wanting to leave on their own accord.  
  
Miko looked up at him. Confusion, worry, heartbreak. It could all be seen in her optics. What kind of message from her parents could possibly warrant this much concern?  
  
_This is what you WANTED. You made it happen. This is your doing. This is what YOU wanted._  
  
Optimus continued. “I am afraid... they will not be visiting you for the foreseeable future.”  
  
“They’ve disowned me, haven’t they?”  
  
Miko’s voice was so meek Optimus had to strain to hear it. It shocked him that she could speak so quietly. He placed a comforting servo on her shoulder but knew that it was far from enough of the comfort she would need.  
  
“They’ve actually had you declared deceased.”  
  
Miko brought a hand up to her mouth to hide the strangled whimper that was fighting to escape her throat.  
  
“Miko, I cannot tell you how sorry I am. You did not deserve this.”  
  
Miko pulled away from him and he did not fight her. He couldn’t imagine how she was feeling. Human emotions were still mostly a mystery to him, and this was probably one of the most complicated emotions a human could feel. At least he understood that she would be feeling an immense amount of pain at this news, so he let her pull away without trying to comfort her further. She turned away from him and, after a few short, unsteady steps, she ran for the solidarity of her room.  
  
_This is NOT what I wanted._


	2. Part 2

The news spread to the rest of the team and strict instructions not to disturb Miko were put in place. The only exception was Bulkhead, who was tasked with making sure she was getting enough energon on a daily basis, and even then he was only allowed to check on her once or twice a day. 

Several days had gone by since Miko received the devastating news but still showed no signs of wanting to leave her room, having all but barricading herself inside. She was lenient toward Bulkhead’s daily check-ins while refusing to talk to anyone else, but even he wasn’t allowed to enter.

It became their routine; he’d knock and ask how she was feeling, and then she’d respond with a satisfactory mumble. Anything more would be hoping for too much.

That night Bulkhead went to check on Miko as usual, albeit a little later than his typical time. With Optimus and the rest of the team off base for the evening, Bulkhead was responsible for supervising not only the children, but the monitors as well which resulted in losing track of the time. 

“Miko?” Bulkhead called gently through her door while giving it a timid knock. 

He waited for her typical response, a soft whimper of acknowledgement, but none came. He knocked again, still gently but a little more persistent. 

“Miko, it’s me, Bulkhead. Just checking in. You don’t have to let me in, but please say something.” 

More silence. Bracing himself to be yelled at, he prepared to open the door. Invading her privacy was never something Bulkhead wanted to do, especially with how her temper gets, but he still needed to make sure she was functioning. He opened the door a crack and peaked inside, scanning the room with a single optic. There was no sign of the young femme, and, worse yet, there was no verbal objection from anyone in the room. Bulkhead threw the door open wide, panicked eyes quickly sweeping the entire space. Miko was not there.

Bulkhead ran back to the main sector of their base, not bothering to close the door to Miko’s room before taking off. 

“Has anyone seen Miko!?” he cried out the second he arrived. 

Raf and Jack quickly turned their attention to the incoming wrecker, nearly jumping in surprise from his sudden outburst.

“She’s not in her room?” Jack asked, still hopeful that this meant Miko was on the road to recovery, but worried that it held a more devastating truth.

“I just checked and there’s no sign of her.” Bulkhead elaborated. He spoke quickly and nearly stumbled over his words as his fear began to take over.

“Okay, everyone just calm down.” Raf spoke up sheepishly, concern evident in his tone as well. “I’ll check the security footage to see if she left the base.” 

He jogged over to Ratchet’s console array, thankful that his new size allowed him easier access to it when the medic wasn’t around. He brought up the footage in no time and played it at double speed to quickly go through that evening’s events. 

And there it was, just before midnight, while no one was in the main sector, Miko could be seen sneaking out of the base. That was almost an hour ago. Raf switched to the outside camera to see her drive off in her vehicle mode, heading into the town of Jasper.

“Why do these things happen while _I’m_ on babysitter duty?” Bulkhead moaned as he placed his servos on his head, rubbing his optics in frustration. “Why didn’t I see this coming?”

“We can’t think about that now,” Jack stated. “She needs us, so we’re going to find her and bring her home.” His optics washed over the footage once more, his somber emotions playing strongly on his face.

“Yeah, but…” Raf spoke up timidly, scrunching his face solemnly. “Where do we start looking?” The silence after Raf’s question hung in the air like an anchor. Every other time Miko had snuck out it was because she wanted to be on a mission, so knowing where to look was obvious. This time however, they had no clues.

Bulkhead sighed. “That’s a very good question.”

...

Miko sped down the dirt roads of Jasper, attempting to outrun her screaming thoughts.

_What you wanted your fault you did this you you you wanted this made it happen didn’t think you_

They were only whispers, and yet they infiltrated every crevice of her mind at a volume that was loud enough to shake the Earth.

_You ruined everything but got what you wanted didn’t you now you don’t want it selfish your fault_

No matter how fast she drove it only seemed to get louder. She didn’t even know where she was going; turning at this intersection, going straight through that one. It didn’t matter as long as she just kept going.

_Nothing you can do they hate you now all of them what you wanted you did this your fault SELFISH_

But the voices just got louder still, a pounding, deafening loud. She couldn’t think. None of her own thoughts were left, it was just the voices. She closed her eyes as she took the last turn, a thousand screams caught in her throat.

She hit something that jarred her control and was forced to return to bot mode. The sudden transformation knocked her off balance and sent her rolling over the asphalt. When the momentum stopped and her body came to rest, she didn’t get up right away. She just lay there, listening to the voices and sobbing.

...

Raf had been staring at the security footage for nearly thirty minutes, scrutinizing any and all details that could provide a clue. While he worked, Bulkhead and Jack searched the town, visiting all of Miko’s favourite spots to hang out. So far neither party was having any luck.

“We’re running out of places to look.” Bulkhead spoke aloud, panic seeping into his tone.

“I know.” Jack huffed. He was also running out of ideas, and feared that Miko could be in danger. He was strongly hoping that Raf would find something that could help them.

“I’ve got something!” Raf bellowed over the commlink, almost on cue. Both Bulkhead and Jack slammed their brakes at the young bot’s exclamation.

“Please tell me it’s a good something.” Bulkhead begged, now sounding very desperate.

“Of course,” Raf cheerfully replied. “I’m already on my way to meet you guys. I know which direction Miko was heading in when we last saw her and I have a way to track her... er, well, her tracks.”

...

Having not yet scanned a vehicle mode, Raf had to travel by foot and shroud himself in a large tarp to hide his bright colours. After running the entire way, Raf finally caught up to his friends and continued explaining his plan. 

“With the speed Miko was travelling she would have left significant marks in the road, so I brought along one of Ratchet’s scanners to help us follow the ones she made.” Raf turned and began to head in the direction Miko had last been seen on the video footage, but he was quickly stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

“Whoa there, bud,” Bulkhead said, bringing the young bot back. “You might want to get yourself a vehicle mode before someone spots you running though Jasper.”

“Do we really have time for that?” Jack asked, stepping in.

Raf hardly needed to think about it. “Jack’s right, Bulkhead. Miko needs our help so it’s a risk we’ll have to take. Besides, it’s 1:30 in the morning and Jasper’s not really known for its night life,” Raf pointed out. “The tarp will help me blend into the darkness if I need to get out of sight quickly, so there shouldn’t be anything to worry about.” Raf tugged on the cloak, smiling confidently as he spoke.

“There’s always something to worry about with you kids,” Bulkhead commented. Still, he gave a nod of approval, for Raf was the best one to be handling Ratchet’s equipment.

...

If Miko still had the ability to generate tears, the road would have been soaked in them. Instead, the only thing that escaped her were vocal sobs and hushed whimpers. Knowing that the longer she spent sprawled out on the open road, the more likely she was to be spotted so she tried to end the crying fit. Her breath hitched as she began to sit up, and once she was upright she finally noticed where she was: the monster truck arena. For a brief moment she was flooded with happy memories of her and Bulkhead sneaking into the shows to watch the vehicular carnage. She would sit in his passenger seat, drumming on his dashboard with excitement as the show progressed.

The pleasant feeling faded as Miko realized it was yet another thing she could no longer do. She transformed and, without any idea what she would do after, headed toward the arena itself. When she got there she circled the building until she found the designated entrance where the monster trucks came and went. She easily blasted the lock off without even needing to re-take her bipedal form. The action left a sizable hole in the door, but she didn’t care about the consequences to come. She drove through the now-open passage and once inside the arena, she transformed. More memories surfaced of her and Bulkhead enjoying their time at the shows hosted here. She almost began to smile at the happiness that was slowly pushing its way through her spark, but the doubts that plagued her mind regained their strength and overcame her once again. She crumpled to the ground in tearless sobs. Resting against a pillar for support, her cries of anguish echoed throughout the arena.

...

It took some time to work out Miko’s path as it quickly became clear she didn’t actually have a destination in mind. The three mechs followed the winding tire tracks that aimlessly traced through the town in erratic patterns; forwards, backwards, circling several blocks. Finally, they came across the rough marks on the asphalt that signified Miko’s tumble.

“It looks like she hit that pothole and, umm...” Raf trailed off with his explanation as he searched for the correct word.

“Crashed?” Jack offered. He sounded worried for Miko’s safety, despite knowing that a crash is different for an Autobot than for a human and their vehicle. 

“More like wiped out,” Raf concluded. “The marks on the road don’t suggest it was bad enough to be considered a crash.” 

Raf crouched by the scuffs in the road, panning his tracker over them as he studied the readouts. His attention was drawn away when he heard Jack speak Bulkhead’s name in concern, and when the small mech looked up he saw their guardian staring silently into the distance.

“Bulkhead?” Jack called again.

“I know where she is.” Said the wrecker.

Bulkhead didn’t look away from where he was staring, causing the other two to follow his line of sight. They saw the monster truck arena and immediately understood what Bulkhead was thinking.

They made their way to the building, relieved that it was off the main roads and well out of sight, providing decent cover. Knowing Miko could only have gotten in through the vehicle entrance, that’s where Bulkhead led them. Right away they noticed a hole in the door and the lock discarded in pieces. The Wrecker sighed lightly, but decided he would deal with one problem at a time and gently rapped on the door with his knuckle.

“Miko? Are you in there?”

His soft cry was met with silence. Attempting to open the door, they discovered it was blocked from the other side. As they were about to put all their effort into moving the unseen barricade, Miko let out a pained whisper.

“Go away,” she begged. 

She was so quiet the boys nearly missed it. They exchanged worrisome glances. Being quiet was not Miko’s usual volume.

Bulkhead called out to her again. “Miko, are you okay? You’re not hurt, are ya? Raf saw the--”

“I’m fine!” Miko’s tone was sharp, cutting through Bulkhead’s words easily. “Just leave me alone.” 

The boys stood silent, hesitant to ask her again. They exchanged glances as they mentally decided their next move.

“You two stay here with Miko,” Bulkhead finally decided. “I’m gonna go look for something that might help.” 

He lumbered off around the edge of the arena, not really sure what he was looking for. Jack and Raf took a seat on the ground and leaned against the doors. They let the silence of the night envelope them as they hoped Miko would open up. As time drifted by they heard soft sobs coming from inside the arena.

Jack braved another attempt to talk to her. “Miko? You know we’re here for you, right? We just want to make sure you’re okay. Please talk to us.” 

The boys tensed, bracing for Miko’s tongue to lash out once again, but it was different this time, like she was finally opening up to them. 

“I’m _not_ okay,” she confessed, her tone not entirely giving up the bite it held before. “I should be, but I’m not. I just need to be alone.”

“What do you mean you ‘should be’?”

“Nothing, Jack!”

Raf spoke up. “Miko, if something’s bothering you--”

“There isn’t! I wanted this! I’m the happiest I’ve ever been!” Miko’s words sounded like they were being choked by the escaping sobs. The boys weren’t convinced and started to get an idea of what was wrong. The sound of Miko’s cries trickled through the door, getting louder as she found it harder to prevent them from escaping.

Jack waited a moment, not wanting to push too much, then finally spoke again. “Miko, I want you to listen to what I’m about to say. You don’t have to say anything, just hear me out.” He paused to make sure she wouldn’t protest before continuing. “We became your family ages ago. Me, Raf, and the ‘bots. I know we can’t change what happened with your parents or make it stop hurting, but we’re still here for you and always will be. If what you need right now is time alone to sort out your feelings, we can give you that. We just want to make sure you’re safe first and that you’re not injured.”

A calm quiet fell over the trio after Jack’s reassuring speech. Jack planned to wait as long as it took; whether Miko was ready to talk or just ready to go home. The waiting stretched on as Miko’s sniffling and the sounds of the night filled the air. 

Eventually Bulkhead circled back from his unsuccessful search. Just as he was rounding the corner to meet back up with Jack and Raf, Miko confessed something that made him freeze.

“I’m not happy being an Autobot.” 

Bulkhead was stunned to hear her utter those words, unsure if she actually said them. 

Jack shared a confused look with Raf, but soon the beginnings of understanding took form in his mind. “Miko, no one said you had to be.”

“But you expected that of me.” she sobbed in response as her voice began to quiver. “I did this. I chose this, so why didn’t it make me happy?”

“You’re allowed to feel sad, Miko. It doesn’t matter what anyone else expects. No one can tell you how to feel but you.”

“I _wanted_ to be happy. I wanted this to _make_ me happy, so what did I do wrong?”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Raf responded quickly, his usually kind voice taking on a score of heartache. “Sometimes what people think will make them happy turns out differently than what was expected. You can’t blame yourself for the numerous variables that affected the outcome.” 

They heard Miko chuckle; a good sign.

“Are you really using science-talk to cheer me up?” she asked teasingly, although the sounds of crying hadn’t left her shaky voice.

“Is it working?” Raf came back. 

The trio all laughed this time, letting out a calm and warmhearted chuckle. When the laughter trickled out, Miko still hadn’t answered. The boys stayed quiet and waited for Miko to speak again.

“I miss being human more than I thought I would.” she finally told them. “I didn’t think about what I would lose. I can’t dance at concerts anymore, can’t play my guitar, can’t even sleep in a bed. And my parents... I didn’t think about how they would react before I made this choice, and now it’s too late. It’s all lost.”

Raf gave Jack a look of concern as the older boy thought about what to say next. “You may not be able to change what happened,” he began before hesitating slightly. “ But it’s not too late to make things better. We’re all here for you; to talk, to help, to give you anything you need. Like I said, we’re your family.”

Another moment of silence passed, but this time it was followed by the sounds of shuffling. The boys perked up, hoping it was a sign that Miko was preparing to come out. They shot to their feet when they heard the loud scraping of something heavy being moved aside, and a moment later Miko opened the door. She stepped out timidly, head held low and still sniffling quietly. Jack approached her cautiously, gently holding out his arms ever so slightly. And then, in one quick motion, Miko was hugging him. She clung to his chest as her sobbing continued, but this time it wasn’t entirely from anguish. Raf soon joined their hug and Miko could feel the hope and comfort rising within her.

Bulkhead approached the trio, his melancholy optics meeting Miko’s gaze. “I’m so sorry,” he told her. “I should have known you were hurting.” And without any more words, he pulled the three young bots into his arms.

...

“Catch me if you can!” Miko taunted playfully as she bounced around the training room. 

Jack and Raf ran after her, attempting to do exactly what she was daring them too. Each of them had a different coloured sash clipped to their hip as they were engaged in a friendly game of capture the flag: training style. It had been over a week since Miko had poured her heart out to her friends and she was slowly healing from the ordeal. She still missed a lot of things from her former life, but now she had the support she needed to cope. Finally, over the past few days, she was starting to feel like herself again.

“Evading will only work for so long, Miko.” Jack teased in return. He closed the gap between them and reached out for her flag. Just as he was about to snatch it away, Miko twisted her body and kneed Jack in the chest. He let out a sharp grunt and went rolling across the floor.

“Nice try, Jack!” Miko told him, waving at him cheekily.

“Heh. Nice hit.” he returned. He got back to his feet, ready to renew his pursuit, when he noticed something that put a smile on his faceplate.

“What’s so funny?” Miko asked, still smiling and desperately wanting to be in on the joke.

“It seems neither of us are winning this round.” Jack said vaguely as he pointed behind her. She turned to see Raf proudly holding both of their flags.

“What?! How?” Miko squeaked.

“Don’t feel too bad, Miko. Being quick and unseen is kinda my thing.” Raf reassured her. 

Miko crossed her arms and feigned offense. “Hmph! And I was so close to winning.” she sighed dramatically. 

Jack chuckled at her antics. He brushed himself off and walked over to Miko, Raf joining them shortly after.

“How about a rematch?” Jack suggested. 

Before they could start another round, Bulkhead came into the training room. “You guys mind taking a break?” he asked. “We’d like to see you in the main sector for a sec.” 

Raf placed the flags on a nearby crate and the three young bots followed the wrecker out of the room and down the hall where the rest of the team awaited them. Miko grew nervous when she saw the other bots gathered and waiting for them. A lecture was in her future, she deduced. She became even more confused when Jack and Raf went to stand with them.

Optimus was the first to address her. “Miko, I know becoming an Autobot didn’t turn out exactly how you imagined it would, and I can’t tell you enough how much I wish I could change that for you.” He gave her a somber look. It was clear he felt disappointed in himself for not being able to do more to help her. If he had been there when she and Raf were transformed, he might have been able to stop her. She would have hated him for it, but at least she wouldn’t have gone through all this heartache.

His demeanor then changed ever so slightly; the straightening of his shoulders and the corners of his mouth turning up in a kind smile. Miko was sure she saw a sparkle in his optics, as if he was excited about something.

He continued. “We came up with something that might help you feel more like yourself.” He stepped aside to give Miko a clear view of the others and nodded to Ratchet. The medic took a few steps toward her before presenting the item he had been holding behind his back. Her eyes lit up. The sudden wave of excitement rushing through her very visible as her arms spread out wide.

“A guitar!” she cheered, taking the gift from Ratchet. “One that fits the new me.” She wasted no time in throwing the strap over her head. Her fingers reunited with the appropriate positions as if they were old friends. To the bots it looked as though the guitar had been part of her new self all along. 

“The idea was mostly Bulkhead’s and the boy’s.” Ratchet confessed with a smile. 

Miko played a quick riff and something inside her lit up. A part of herself had suddenly been revived. “I love it,” she squeaked, overwhelmed by the joy she was feeling.

She didn’t know what else she could say that would fully convey how she felt, so she decided on action instead. She grabbed Ratchet’s wrist, to his surprise, and yanked him toward Bulkhead, Jack and Raf. She pulled all four of them into a group hug as best as she could manage. It didn’t take long for Arcee and Bumblebee to join in. Optimus, too stoic for group hugs, placed a comforting hand on the young femme’s shoulder and offered her an encouraging smile.

“Becoming an Autobot didn’t turn out as expected,” Miko decided. “But I’m glad that one thing hasn’t changed.”

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to my friend for beta reading! (She would like to remain anonymous)
> 
> It's finally here! The two part finale of my Transformers Prime oneshot series. Writing this series has been a lot of fun, but like all good things it has to come to an end. Considering that this series was only ever meant to be a single oneshot, it's really nice to see how far it's come. Thanks to everyone who encouraged me to continue the series. We never would have made it this far without you.
> 
> I hope you all find this to be a satisfactory ending.  
> Thank you!


End file.
